Building a Business.
In my heart and mind, I always knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur.
From a very early age, I had this gut feeling that I was destined to be my own boss. From playing house with my cousins and pretending I was the owner of the store to always taking on extra roles as a kid around the classroom to have some type of control over a project- I felt as if it were always meant to be (even if I earned the title “teacher’s pet”- yes, I was that kid).
Fast forward to 2020, I’m 21 years old and just graduating college in the middle of a pandemic. I was lost, confused, acknowledging my depression, and facing anxiety attacks for the first time. I felt so alone and helpless. I felt like my dreams were crashing down on me. I didn’t have my graduation from my dream school, I was turned down by 2 job roles that I dreamt of pursuing after college, and the reality that I built for myself a year ago was no longer feasible.
“Where there is darkness, there is light.”
In the midst of all this confusion and anxiety, I also saw this as an opportunity to chase my dreams. It was terrifying, to say the least. It was another one of those moments where you look at your dream face to face, and figure out how to turn it into a reality. A few weeks after being on edge all the time and depressed, I started looking into LinkedIn Learning to educate myself on how to use Illustrator for fashion illustration and then converting that into my personal designs. “Wow, am I really doing this?”, is one of the first thoughts I had to myself. Every night didn’t end until about 3 am as I was trying to map out my thoughts and figure out the business side of things. I had about 100 tabs open on 4 different windows of resources I found on Google and had to face my fear of cold calling, not really knowing too much about what to do or what to expect. From there on out, it was practicing discipline and making time between work, school, and my social life to build my dream business.
While I did hit the ground running, I would say life loves to throw me speed bumps on every block. I could feel like I’m on cloud 9 and like I’ve hit a wall on multiple occasions, all in one day. I could have a huge accomplishment like finding a mentor that would be my North star through everything and in the same day, possibly find a fabric I love but there’s not enough of it and it can’t be reordered, sending me back to square 1. This still continues to be an everyday struggle for me, because as your business further develops, the stakes also rise. There has not only been blood, sweat, tears, and most importantly, time put into this, but also financial investments in place. I would never say that means nothing can go wrong, but you want to limit the losses as much as possible because long story short, businesses are EXPENSIVE and the expenses are never-ending.
Starting a business is one thing- logistics, details, planning, tech packs, all of it is necessary and important. However, one thing is always left out. Mental health. From the voice in your head having you doubt yourself, to people whispering around you, to people blatantly rooting for your business to fail- it takes a toll on you. I could have days where I feel like I’m on a high, but a lot of the time, I have meltdowns all too often. I’m not here to tell you how to manage your mental health or what the best way to go through it is, but if you are, you’re not alone. I think the biggest villain for me is myself. I can take the low blows from other people and filter it out eventually to leave it irrelevant. However, the feeling that exists in my mind can be the most rewarding or detrimental. I have a lot of moments where I wonder if I should give up, or is this even worth it. I often question my abilities and if I can actually build a successful business. The best advice I can offer myself and to any other small business owner is to take it day by day and only focus on what you can control now. It’s okay to take a step back and let your brain dumb out for a day, or a week even, to come back re-inspired and with a clear mindset.
This is still very much the beginning of my journey, and my business is yet to launch (March 2021), but I am incredibly grateful for myself. Not to sound self-centered, but pursuing this business with a lot working against me has really tested my patience and limits. I have also learned so much about myself through this process and about the industry. No business that has become incredibly successful has started without zero hardships. The rocky waters are what keeps it fun and exciting. Even though the mavericks of it all could take a beat sometimes.
As I was writing this I was wondering if there’s anything missing, but I’m sure it’ll come up again as my story continues to develop. The questions and answers can be infinite.
I hope you all found this read interesting and hopefully inspiring. Don’t ever feel intimidated to go after something you’ve always wanted to do, whether that’s a job, sky diving, starting a business, or learning how to cook. Everyone starts somewhere. It’s not always pretty, but you’ll get there. One way or another.
XX- Fiona.