22 things I've learned at 22.
I think the trend for this was supposed to be 21, but I'm a year late. Oops. Guess that's lesson #1?
About 7 years ago, I wondered every day what it would be like to be 21 and what it would be like after that. I thought being 30 was so old and being 15 and 15 years away from being 30, I thought it was so far away. Surprise surprise- I'm now 8 years away from turning 30 (oye) and I'm in the prime of my 20's (thanks Covid). With that said, many things have changed for me over the years, especially the past 3. Change is good. However, it didn't come without its difficulties as I've learned with my family, my friends, my relationships, and myself. I've learned a thing or two that has changed my mindset and I wanted to share some of my learnings with you. Whether you're older or younger, it may be a refresher or some insight for yourself in whatever situation you're currently or will face. (Let me preface that I'm not a sensei, I don't know all. I'm just my own sensei. Fifi the Sensei)
Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to be in your life forever.
Growing up, I always thought having a big group of friends was the way to validate your status, importance, and popularity. Surprise- it's not! Sometimes a very small group of friends is all you need. A house needs its foundation, big or small, otherwise, it'll crumble.
Do what you love. Life is short.
If I lived my life following what I was told to do vs. what I wanted to do, you wouldn't be reading this blog right now. For myself and for everyone else (including you), doing what you love will allow your personality and happiness to flourish. In the long run, it'll ultimately leave you feeling the most fulfilled in life.
Work smarter, not harder
Time is money. It is the most valuable currency in life that you'll never be able to get back. If you're able to leverage yourself in a situation to move forward, do it (obviously in good conscience).
This definitely is dependent on what you value and where you think your time is best spent.
Don't make excuses for yourself, or for anyone else. It really is what it is.
Red flag? Don't be the bull that runs towards it. Remember, if they wanted to, they would. It is what it is.
If they aren't putting in the effort, why should you?
I'm a big believer in always giving your 100% but no matter what situation it is, its always a 2-way street. If you're putting in the effort, there's no excuse for the other person not to. If they aren't, time to move on.
Respect yourself and your time.
Be unapologetically yourself. It'll ultimately get you to where you need to be and you will gravitate to the people you truly belong with.
If we were all the same person, holy crap would the world be so boring! Being you is what makes you unique and the most effortless way to stand out (good or bad haha)
Embrace the little moments. Cherish them.
Life moves fast. We have amazing experiences and really sh*tty ones. But remember that hug, the happiness or sadness you felt at that moment. They'll hold you together in the long run.
Criticism and doubt can come from anywhere. Strangers, Family, Friends.
Everyone is subjected to criticism, even if they don't ask for it. It can come from anyone but stay grounded with yourself and your goals. If we crumbled every time we were criticized or doubted, we'd be a shriveled up raisin!
Be straightforward about what you want.
Ok coming from a super indecisive person, this is a funny thing to put out there. But once you know what you want, don't hesitate to put it out in the universe and go after that. Beating around the bush will get you nowhere and will leave a weight on your shoulders.
The worst that can happen is they say "No"
Shoot your shot. Chances are, you really have nothing to lose.
Take care of your dreams, but don't forget to take care of yourself
You won't be able to function properly if you're dehydrated, exhausted, and mentally checked out!
Be open-minded.
I was never a fan of trying new things when I was younger, but as I grew older, I figured "What's the worst that could happen from trying an olive?".
Besides trying new things, understand situations from both sides before reacting to come up with solutions.
Your confidence is sexy. Don't let anyone tell you anything different
All I'm going to say is that they hate you cause they ain't you. Cliche? Yes. Do I care? No.
When you approach a situation about a problem, try to have a solution in the back of your mind. You need a foundation.
Say you have an issue with your boss- don't go up and say I have a problem and don't have a plan B. Even if it's half of that, at least you have something. Kind of like how you never show up to a party empty-handed.
Stay humble.
I'm all for people thriving and being successful, but with true success comes respect. If you become arrogant and stuck up, your success will only be reflected on a piece of paper, not you as a person.
Acknowledge your flaws, strategize how to tackle them.
One of the hardest things to do in life is to acknowledge your flaws. It's hard to criticize ourselves because whether we like to admit it or not, we all have egos. However, acknowledging your weaknesses and taking it day by day to improve will go so far in the long run for personal growth and how you treat others.
Be kind to others. You never know what they're going through.
You never know everyone's full history or life story. Kindness is free. So is compassion. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Don't try to relate, try to understand.
Believe that you're capable of tackling any challenge. Even if its a room renovation you've never done before 😳
I've grown up being told, "you're a girl you can't do that, let me do it for you" or "you don't belong at the table," during family business meetings. No matter what you're told or how doubted you are, know your place and stand your ground. Don't be a pushover.
Listen to learn. Don't listen to respond
I'm not going to lie, I'm a pretty defensive person. However, as I "age" I'm realizing that it's better to really let things marinate and to be patient. Sometimes responding too fast is what will bite you in the a**.
Don't feel peer pressured. You are cool on your own. Anyone who says otherwise is far from cool.
You are in full control of your life! That means you do what you want to do, and if you don't want to do something whether that's being asked to use a substance or to follow a certain career path, YOU FULL DO NOT HAVE TO. End of the day, you stayed true to yourself and that is so fu*cking cool.
Don't force things. Everything happens for a reason. 90% of the time it's a blessing in disguise.
I watched way too many movies as a kid and believed that there was always a way to bend things in your favor. However, while that is still somewhat true, let things play out naturally, and everything will work out.
Your goals and dreams in life aren't limited to just your 20's. Or your 30's. Everyone at their own pace. Just believe you'll get there one day, and work towards it.
My plan in life once I hit my 20's was to get my degree, start my career, find a boyfriend, let my career thrive and buy a house, and then get married and have kids. All by the time I was 30. At 22, I'm realizing how unrealistic that is because at that point I'm running on a timeline and while I consider those to all be great goals, am I really living if I'm pressuring myself to achieve all of that in the next 8 years?
Let's normalize people going at their own pace and taking their time. While I do love my timelines, I'm following rule 21. Don't force things.
I hope you guys were able to get something from the 22 biggest lessons I've learned in my life so far. While there is a lot more to learn and there's probably a good chunk that I haven't covered, I feel like these things are what I resonate with most at this moment. Keep it real my friends.
All my love,
Fiona